Wait…what? [Slogan fail]

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“Finally at Impiana College a school that teaches you how to Conceive.”

Price comparison fail

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Thanks to the bill rounding system, Giant is now guilty of false advertising.

Calibrated for your dining pleasure

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At A&W, we want to remind our employees to smile in the most professional sounding way possible, then our customers will see it and think we’re really cool!

p/s: Our employees are so stupid we have to put pictures to show them what smiling is.

Card Fetish – Writer

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I recently entered this name card design in a little competition by a friend.

I didn’t win. But in a strange turn of events, she decided she liked it so much she bought it off me.

I told her she can pay whatever she thinks it’s worth. Art is subjective?

Anyway, it was supposed to reflect her profession and personality as a writer/blogger/gamer/forum mod. For personal use.

So. Your comments please.

Krispy Kreme nothing to shout about

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So Krispy Kreme opened to great hype on last week. Being another Berjaya corp franchise, it’s aptly located at the under-occupied Berjaya Times Square (where Dome used to be). Another branch is set to open at the end of May at The Gardens, Midvalley.

Surprisingly, and luckily, there wasn’t a half-hour long line at the store (unlike the haydays of the donut craze last year). The store is done up in typical fast food fashion, with bright menus, bad music, and Starbucks-esque chairs?

A large window by the queue line lets you peek into the busy kitchen and the centerpiece donut maker where pairs of dough drop into a vat of oil, dry off down the line, and bathe in a coat of sugary goodness before being sold as the signature ‘melt-in-your-mouth’ Original Glaze donuts.

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The other flavours don’t receive as much publicity, and can be found waiting in trays at the back of the store. This seems to be similar to how Dunkin Donuts prepare their daily offerings – well in advance.

Drop by JCo or Big Apple and you’ll find staff shaping donuts and applying the icing hot out of the oven. It’s sold fresh too. It would seem like the young asian donut cafes are one upping the more established outlets like Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme.

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The donuts are good on the whole, but a few pieces in and it feels like your teeth are going to fall out. And that’s coming from a lot of people, many of them chocoholics and sugar junkies.

Case in point is the Chocolate Iced Glazed, which is a double choc donut, WITH a sugar glaze coating thrown in for good measure. A check on the official site reveals that each serving(donut) weighs 66g (250kcal), of which 21g is sugar. That’s 1/3 of the whole donut!

The Original Glaze is nothing to shout about, in fact, texture wise it feels slightly airier than JCo. Decent ones are the Hershey’s Cookies and Cream, and Hershey’s Dark Chocolate, both topped with bits of chewy chocolate and cookies.

Cappuccino may look tempting, but the creme filling proves otherwise. Like most other flavours, its coffee creme innards tastes more like liquid sugar than it does coffee.

Price wise, they’re slightly more expensive than JCo. The Original Glaze goes for RM2.50, and other flavours RM2.80.

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To wrap, Krispy Kreme was dissapointing. Partially because of the hype and heightened expectations, but mostly because it failed to top JCo, probably it’s main competitor.

It might do them some good to cut down on the sugar, and start selling fresh donuts. The first week may seem rosy, but bad reviews tend to go round pretty quickly, and this post isn’t helping.

And to think the first customer lined up over 36 hours in advance just so she could win a year’s worth of donuts.

What the hell would I do with it?

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The best restaurant in town is a secret!

QUESTION- How do you know you’re in a very good restaurant?

1. The butter is served in a swirl, placed in the center of a chic black dish.

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2. The iced lemon tea comes in three parts – The tea, a vial of lemon extract, and a vial of sugar.

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3. Fact – Good pizza looks like crap but tastes amazing. Bad pizza looks good but tastes like stale dough. Mediocre pizzas are somewhere in the middle.

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4. Service is impeccable. With a capital ‘I’.

5. They can do various types of food well. The Unagi Kabayaki gets two thumbs up. Miso soup is more ingredients than seasoned water.

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6. You get a view like this-

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7. With a price range roughly equivalent to-

starbucks

8. Smack in the middle of town.

9. Almost nobody knows about it. Absolute privacy.

10. The Hot Spot – 24th floor, Menara Maxis. 9am-7pm weekdays only.

11. Edit: Anyone can go in. They give passes to the 24th floor.

[Shorts] Alive

The quiet of the night was pierced by roar of the Jaguar racing down the highway. Another night, another emergency. Brandon couldn’t remember the last time he had a good night’s sleep. Months ago at least. Brandon  brandon, the things you do for that six figure salary. He sighed. Might as well move into the ward permanently if this were to happen every other night. But Ma and Pa…

Briefly, he caught himself doing 130kph. Not a big deal considering the empty streets, still, he was slightly taken aback that all that kept him from crashing through the barrier at sharp turns was his subconscious. He applied the brakes slightly and slowed to a calm 80, not that it made a difference on the interior.

He let his mind drift again and was soon steering with his left hand with his head propped lazily against his right, elbow on the door. The radio was playing Sinatra.

Ah Meng! You know Aunty Chai’s daughter?

Please doctor, I really need ‘em. The pain is killing me.

Hey baby.

She come back from Australia liao.

What? Of course not. I’m only taking them when I have to.

Lunch at 1? Same place?

Want to meet her or not? People also study medicine one eh.

Please.

Why can’t we be mushy? I like being affectionate. It’s…special.

Don’t answer me like that! You remember what Pa did for you ah! MENG!

“Regrets, I’ve had a few; But then again, too few to mention…” the Jag jerked slightly as Brandon returned to the wheel. The blue glow of the speedometer read 120kph. Consciously he braked again, this time slowing down to 60. So slow that the car felt stationary. He turned up the volume of the radio to make sure he doesn’t lapse into another daydream. “I did what I had to do; And saw it through, without exemption…”

Driving was almost always a pleasant experience for Brandon whether he admitted it or not. For that short duration, he was completely isolated from the world. No nagging parents, no drug abusing patients with their BS stories, no girlfriend to please. Most of all no parents! A capsule hurtling down the highway well above the speed limit. Its isolation being the only consolation. Free.

His parents have been both a blessing and a curse. When he told his father that he had been accepted to go to medical school, the family sold the bungalow and moved to a modest flat. “After all, it was just your Ma and me.” his father would rationalize. “You just concentrate on studying only. Don’t worry about us.”

Forward 15 years and Ma is trying to set him up with the neighbour’s daughter. “One is a pharmacist the other a doctor, aiyo, like a match made in heaven!” exclaimed Ma her usual over-enthused silliness. All previous suitors were either turned down directly or in one way or another took a toll on the relationship till it was ruined. Carol being the latest victim. She was THE ONE! I knew it!

He can’t say no to his parents because they’ll guilt trip about his education. He owed his entire life to them. If it wasn’t for them, he’d be sleeping now in his apartment, his tiny apartment, and driving a Wira. Oh no, no, what a horrid thought! He would never stoop so low, no. But this lifestyle, the gated community Semi-D, the Jag, gourmet meals. It wasn’t his. His parents bought it for him, like all the toys they got him on his birthday. At least I have Hannah.

Hannah was his. Obtained on his own initiative. A trophy. Oh Hannah I love you so. His parents don’t know, yet. But he’s confident she will receive their stamp of approval seeing as she’s a doctor at the hospital, like him. And she also enjoys sushi and long walks along the beach. Was Hannah indirectly bought by his parents as well? Who is living his life?

Brandon jerked back into conscious driving once again. A sinister thought occurred to him. What if he actually got into an accident? What would happen to his parents? Their pride and joy, their only son, their precious investment. Dead! They caused it – their incessant nagging, the pressure, the guilt trips! They have no one to blame but themselves! A grin began to creep onto his face. No! Think of Hannah. Focus! His mind departed once again.

Hannah, will you marry me?

Can’t we be friends, Carol? Please?

Ah Meng! Aunty Chai asked about you ah.

Yes! Oh Brandon! Yes!

You’re the most lifeless person I’ve ever met!

She told me her daughter likes you very much. So good hor!

Oh Hannah I love you!

Carol! Please!

I’ve already consulted the si-fu for a good date already!

A loud honking teleported Brandon back to the wheel. Looking in the rear view mirror, it was a red car in the middle of the cross-junction. He’d jumped a red light. That was close. He continued speeding along a flyover.

I love you too, Brandon.

It’s too late for that.

So what do you think? Ah Meng? Meng? Meng ah!

“SHUT UP!” he shouted. And accelerated into the van on the right. Bang. The eerie sound of twisting metal and concrete. CRASH! A blur of lights and sounds. The windscreen a web of cracks. Falling, falling.

“I did it MMYYYYY… WAAAAYYYY” sang Sinatra.

Hannah! I love you so much!

For once in his life, Brandon felt alive.

101/1001

Here’s a meme worth pursuing. It’s simple, do 101 things in 1001 days.

The rule is that all the things must be listed in great detail with a target date and plans to accomplish them.

You can do it with friends and list down shared goals, like going on a holiday together. But you’ll probably won’t think of enough things to do together, so you’ll have plenty for yourself.

What I like about it is that 1001 days translates to approximately 2 years 9 months and 1 day, which is a non-rounded time period (ie. 3 years). Not too short, not too long. Enough to do a lot of fun things as well as getting down to some life changing goals.

My list includes a long list of great restaurants, weekender trips, concerts, moving to the other side of the world, and getting some idle websites up and started.

Consider yourself tagged.

For once, I thank censorship

katyperry1Thanks to the ridiculous censorship of ‘I kissed a girl’ by *coughthitz.fmcough*, I finally got Katy Perry’s album One of the Boys. Mainly out of annoyance and curiosity.

IT’S PHENOMENAL!

I would describe it as a mashup of Ashlee Simpson, Alanis Morissette, and Pink. But better.

Also, her supercool personality is addictive-

Lesson: If it’s ‘bad’ enough to be censored, it’s good enough to keep.

Rubbish computers for rubbish prices

Just who the hell buys a laptop based on screen size and keyboard comfort?

Result: HP Pavilion dv7

And today’s JoT totally nailed it: